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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
Kinda makes you wonder how many employees used to piss on their hands in the bathroom before management finally took action
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
I just heard a woodpecker call me a `paranoid old weirdo` in morse code.