Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching `Night at the Roxbury.` "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
I just ended a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn`t mine.
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
You can`t be late until you show up
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...`That looks tasty, I`m gonna eat that.`