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Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
Woke up with my credit card lying on my keyboard. I can`t wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body`s telling me yesss...BABY. Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?
Dear single guys; open a pet shop selling cats. Let the single ladies come to you.