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It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong .
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
Does "who cares" count as advice?
Sooooo, ..a friend of mine was watching my dog lick herself in a certain area. Out of nowhere he says, "I wish I could do that." ...I said, "Go ahead, but she might bite."...
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside