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I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
That moment when you’re talking to yourself and you smile like an idiot, because you’re just so hilarious.
I’m tired of things costing money.
Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
If kidnapping is a federal offense, then why is marriage legal?
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you and your motivational crap is far away
Why can`t Miss Piggy count to 100? Cuz` when she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat!
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
I can catch a speeding bullet- only once.
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7