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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.
A 4-way stop is an IQ test you take in public.