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My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
There`s no `i` in "Shut the f*ck up!"
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.