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is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you’re working.
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else’s phone. Ever.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?