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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
Something about summertime brings out the beer guzzling Homer Simpson in me.