Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
Plan B includes margaritas.
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`.... I`ll turn around and look.
about love
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends....
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
It`s acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I`m asking for a friend...