Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up, I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it breathe. 2) If it does not look like it`s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
Confession #156: I always prepare myself before stepping on the escalator
It`s hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.
I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn’t named Marvin.