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It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.