Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
I forget, how much tequila goes in mashed potatoes? Now that`s funny, I don`t care who you are. Oh, don`t copy that part. I mean this part. Oh hell!! Your going to copy and paste the whole thing anyway ;)
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
You’re not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you’re an a$$hole.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.