Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
I believe in love at first episode.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
I`m sorry but, I could not hear you over the sound of my internal hope that you would shut the f*ck up.
I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?