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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
I wish relationships were more like cell phone plans - "Free nights and weekends."
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
I stay up late every night and realize it was a bad idea every morning.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
I smile because your my daughter. I laugh because there`s nothing you can do about it. ;)