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If your problem can’t be solved by me saying “damn” and nodding a lot, then you shouldn’t come to me for help.
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
Last night I went out drinking with some high school friends. About 2 hours into it they were like..."dude, shouldn`t you be hanging out with people your own age?"
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
My living room is pretty much a fat camp without rules.
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
I`ll be there in a second I just gotta finish writing this letter of apology to a club owner for tearing up his dance floor last night..
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!