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You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
If karma doesn`t hit you, I gladly will.
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
I know u r but what am I ?
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!
*Baby on board* Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I won’t.