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I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
Me: spends 12 hours comparing teams before completing NCAA bracket, loses $50. GF: Spends 5 minutes picking teams with "cute" mascot names, wins $1000.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written "f*ck off forever" instead of "keep in touch" in your yearbook.
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.