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My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
If you blow out the kid`s Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
And now it`s too hot outside to take down the Christmas lights
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.