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If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
The next time someone asks me what I`m doing, I`m gonna reply "I`m breathing 2 stay alive how about u"?
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
I ate gummy bears and didn`t bite off their heads or make screaming noises as they entered my mouth and I think this means I`m an adult now.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
If you`re sad/single/both on valentines day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald`s for $8.99