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I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE: Oh... I have nothing to say, I just crave the spotlight.
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
The only person that can procrastinate more than me hasn`t even been born yet.
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
heyy lol
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion