Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My email notification is a cricket sound that drives the wife crazy looking for the cricket. Winning!
My credit rating is so bad I got turned down for a magazine subscription.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
I’m tired of things costing money.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
Do you ever start writing a status and half way through you’re just like… nah
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
New Game: Attach a mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside