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If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
I drink because people talk.
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?