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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
Facebook is not so bad once you block your family and friends.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right