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I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, "At least they picked me"
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
The smaller the town, the bigger the sex cult.
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
More people should be at a loss for words.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
scientific fact: never tell a woman she`s crazy unless you want to see crazy.
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.