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Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
Home is where a man hangs his hat. Unless that man is wearing a sun visor. Then he probably dosent have a home or friends..
I read Facebook for the pictures.
The problem with you is ... you exist.
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She`s not coming back. And we don`t no y either.
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.