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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
There`s an emoji for eggplants but not for popcorn and this is why trusting people isn`t just hard, it`s impossible.
I´m playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can´t get off the couch or I´ll die.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
If horror movies have taught me anything, it`s lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.