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What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
I`m trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
Life is like “Facebook” – People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.