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According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
I’ve been saving up my tickets for 27 years sir, and I would like to purchase this very chuck e cheese.
Often I convince myself I enjoy the company of other humans. Then I spend time with them and remember I don`t.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
I peed so hard that a little laugh came out
Well, it`s about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.
I`ve got a Tootsie Pop and seven hours until the aviary notices their Spotted Owl is missing. Let`s do this!
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
The only thought I have for the weather lately is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji.
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I`m having sex ... Probably with the other sock.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?