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Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
How long do I have to wear these skinny jeans before they start working?
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She`s had a headache for the past 15 years.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.