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Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
My superpower is making people laugh ... Which would be great if I was trying to be funny
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I`m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook.
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
My sister says god`s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, so I bought her a vibrator because she`s obviously never had an orgasm.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
Today I learned that not all people like ventriloquists. Particularly my gynecologist.
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
If you think your girlfriend has a great sense if humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes.