Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
I work out ... Just kidding, I take naps.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
I know u r but what am I ?
Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I`m on a `secure line`
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: