Daily Silly Status

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?

All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.

Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"

I don`t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.

I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."

It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.

After all these years I finally figured out that that last little piece of soap is more trouble than it`s worth.

I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.

I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."

Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?

All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.

I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...