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Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
I never run with scissors. (those last two words were unnecessary.)
I`m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
I`m always right. And when I`m not, I edit Wikipedia.