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Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
I can`t wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online.
Anyone who wastes my time is a clocksucker.
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
The future was so much cooler in the past.
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.