Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
Its so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way UP
The only dates I get are updates.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
Farted in my wallet, Now I have gas money.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...