Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
I`ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn’t have borrowed all that money.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka.