Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
Me: You`ve dimmed the lights already, aren`t we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Shout out to the post office for delivering my recycling to me every day.
When I order pizza online and there’s a “Notes” box I put “Ring bell, Cross moat, SLAY DRAGON”
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.