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Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
It`s impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Euphoria....the feeling you get when you finally beat "that" level on Candy Crush.
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
My buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.