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I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you`re able to "fall asleep right now."
Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats! Many of you are about to be grandparents!
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
And by "whatever" I mean f*ck you.
I know alcohol isn`t the answer, but it`s my best guess.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
I often ask myself "What`s wrong with me?" and the answer is ALWAYS "You can`t drink at work"
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
My friend said the only vegetable that could make him cry was an onion. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen