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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
During Sex you burn as much calories as running 5 miles ... Who the f*ck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds.
I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as the Kraft Singles?
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!