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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
It’s hard to get a lot done when you’re busy having a snack every 15 minutes
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Handle every stressful situation like a Dog.....Pee on it and walk away.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you`re on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.