Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
My new home security sign : "EBOLA QUARANTINE" - Deters salesman, thieves, and neighbors.
Calling someone with glasses “four eyes” isn’t an insult. Know what else has four eyes? Two sharks. Now you feel stupid.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
When your wife`s in labour, never sneak a look at the business end; it`s like watching your favourite pub burn down.
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I`m guessing it`s because the other fifty percent can`t afford lawyers.
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?