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Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
My phone battery lasts longer than relationships these days
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
I wish I could just “like” a text so I don’t have to respond.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....