Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to βIs there a doctor on the plane?β
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
It doesnβt matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isnβt a thing.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says βoh no she didnβt!β she most definitely did.