Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
I fell asleep on the couch last night & woke up thinking I was married.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
I wish I had Shazam for faces...
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
when a girl says "whatever" what she really means "I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark, and then eaten by it
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.