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"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
I like to go to a strangers house tell them you used to live there and that your grandfather hid money somewhere in the house and just leave.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain`t good.
If ghosts existed, why are they all apparently from the last 100 years or so? Wouldn’t there be evidence of a Neanderthal ghost here and there?
Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"