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I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as the Kraft Singles?
The trouble with living alone is that it`s always my turn to do dishes.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....