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When I said make yourself at home, I meant go wash my dishes.
Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
Bought some cheese at one of those fancy cheese shops today. It was legend dairy...
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
Be thankful your GPS doesn`t get PMS: “Fine! Turn whichever way you want! You never listen to me anyway!”
I don`t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
I say the things better left unsaid.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.