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Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine.
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… that’s where the knives are kept.
I would like to thank you people for letting me know its Friday every week. Its thoughts like this that keep me on Facebook.
My therapist just offered me my money back.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.