Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature`s way of getting you to slap yourself.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm down.
I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.”
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
You call it multiple personality disorder... I call it being mayor of the little town in my head!
Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one...
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.