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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
For lent, I`m giving up sexual innuendos but it`s hard... so hard!
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.