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"I like tube tops too, but even tires have pressure limits!
Ever work out and think "wow I really needed that"? That`s how I feel about the chocolate chip cookie I just ate.
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
It`s always darkest before the dawn. So if you`re going steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s be the time to do it.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.